Daughter demands parents cancel their dream Europe vacation to fund grandchild's college, threatens to withhold access to grandkid: ‘You might as well not see them’

Author image for Cata Holmes
Cata Holmes • Writer
Aug 9, 2026 2:30 PM EDT

After paying for their own children's college, do grandparents owe the same financial support to the next generation?

One couple thought they had finally reached the stage of life where they could enjoy the rewards of decades of hard work. But after announcing a long-awaited trip to Europe, their daughter argued that the money should go toward her child's future instead. The disagreement escalated into an ultimatum involving access to their grandchild.

What an awful attitude the daughter had. There's a point in life when people need to understand they don't have to receive things from their parents anymore. We all end up being grown adults who have to find a way of living on our own, and forget that our parents once helped us. In this case, this daughter needs to understand this point and move on with her life.

Her parents were super nice and gave every kid a fund for college, which is more than other parents can afford, and they all used it for that and other things. But once this is used and the kids started getting married and having a life, they cannot pretend the grandparents are going to be there to fund their own kids' colleges and other stuff, and should not get mad about this. 

I also don't like when the daughter threatens the parents with not letting them see the baby, which is so bad and wrong in so many ways. I hope that the parents are strong and don't give her money for her kids' college fund because they are scared of not seeing the kid. This is not going to happen anyway. I don't think the girl is immature enough to prevent their own parents from being with the kid; it doesn't make sense.

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  • A happy grandparent shares a joyful moment with a young grandchild, capturing the warmth of family relationships across generations.
    via Unsplash+ (via Getty Images)

    A happy grandparent shares a joyful moment with a young grandchild, capturing the warmth of family relationships across generations. 

    Represented by models.

  • I am comfortable and still working, same with my spouse. We set up our kids so they had funds for college and extra. We gave all of our kids the same amount and it was primary used for college so they graduated mostly debt free.
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  • Two of mine kids had some extra and they use it for a downpayment on a home (they got scholarship so it cost less). The point I am making is that my spouse and I gave our kids money for college.
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  • All the kids are out of the house and my spouse and I finally have extra money to do things we want to do. This is the problem.
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  • My daughter had the first grandkid and when I was over she mentioned it would be nice to make a college fund for her. I turned it down for two reason.
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  • if I do one for the grandkid I will have to do it for all future grandkid and I don't know how many kids that will be. I can't commit to that. (we have 4 kids and I don't know how many grandkids that will equal)
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  • My second reason that it is the parents responsibility to provide this and we made sacrifices to do this so my daughter should do the same. Its not like she is living in poverty. That both have good jobs and a nice home.
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  • My daughter accepted it at the time and I thought that was is. It wasn't. My spouse and I plan on going on our first real vacation in over ten years to Europe.
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  • I told my daughter about our trip and it turned into an argument. She is ped we are going to go on vacation when she is struggling. day care is expensive and she already doesn't like we don't babysit in the week. We can't because we still work.
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  • She continued that I should use the money for our grandkids college fund. I told her no and that it is her responsibility to pay for her college refund not mine
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  • She told me that I need to help do a college fund or I might as well on see my grandkid.
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  • An older man sits alone in deep thought.
    via Unsplash+ (via Getty Images)

    An older man sits alone in deep thought.

    The man shown is a model.

  • Redditors were shocked when they read how immature and insensitive the daughter was, and recommended therapy for her because this is not normal behavior from a grown-up woman. They also suggested to the OP that they should not give her any money, because it will more likely create a habit where she's going to start demanding things from them.

  • SlinkyMalinky20 She's wild. No. She had a better start than most and it's on her to provide that for her own child now.
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  • jamaicanmecray-z NTA what is this nonsense. Enjoy your older years, you set your kids up well. Hope you get to see your grandkid(s) but being financially blackmailed to get a relationship with your kid isn't the way.
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  • unlovelyladybartleby NTA. If she wants to set up a college fund and have people throw $50 in there instead of giving birthday presents, that's completely reasonable. Expecting you to give up your holiday because she didn't look into the costs of childcare before she had a baby is ridiculous.
    via Hot-Scarcity7133
  • Go-Mellistic I hate that she is weaponizing access to the grandchildren. It's manipulative and wrong. You are 100% correct that you provided for your children and now it's her turn. Enjoy the trip. NTA
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  • Jusbuster nta, it would also "be nice" if she gifted you a million dollars
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  • Kayback2 NTA. Tell her you're disappointed in how she turned out. You thought you raised her better than that.
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  • ShotButterscotch9154 Clarify the last sentence please; is your daughter saying start a college fund or you won't see your grandchild?
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  • SweetStatistician463 NTA. Do you, boo. Being a grand parent is all of the benefit and none of the responsibility for the grandkids. Please go and enjoy your time and vacations. Try to remember her words come from frustration and fear for the future. Recommend therapy.
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  • A young mother cradles her baby in a quiet moment at home.
    via Unsplash+ (via Alexander Grey)

    A young mother cradles her baby in a quiet moment at home.

    This image is for illustrative purposes only.

  • Downtown Tale_2018 Sounds like a total spoiled brat, you have been more than generous putting 3 kids through college
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  • Mmm_hummus NTA Just wondering, is she expecting you to set up an account she has access to? It seems weird that she's focused on something so far down the line if her issue is she's struggling now. Her kid will be in school soon enough and she won't have to worry about daycare or midweek babysitting.
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  • SnooOwls7349 You are not the a_h_le you took care of your responsibilities better than most parents and now it's time for you to enjoy your life and the money you worked so hard and long to earn.
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